Boredom
by ClumsyFox
Summary: What does Skulduggery do while Valkyrie’s away? Rated K I think, so sorry if a word slipped.


**Me Notes:** I don't even remember how this started, but my cousin and I came up with it so Co-Authorship goes to **Eye of the Moon**. The song/tune below in the center is "O Christmas Tree" which me no own. Me also no own the Skulduggery Pleasant Series.

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**Boredom**

The legal owner of the house wasn't home, but that never stopped the gaunt man in the pinstriped suit. He walked around as if it was his own; he's been in there countless of times so it was technically his second home. And like home, he kicked up his long legs and rested them on the coffee table. With a good book in hand, Gordon's obviously, he read for a good ten minutes. It was the quietness that prevented him from continuing.

He was so used to things crashing and colliding, thumping and grunting, screaming and kicking it was a bit unnerving for him. "I even miss Tanith's and Valkyrie's squeals or China's and Tanith's bickering," he said to an empty house. The man wasn't expecting an answer so he jumped when Echo Gordon appeared behind him.

"Are you really that bored, Skulduggery?" the hologram chuckled.

"Nonsense," Skulduggery waved him off, "I'm all I need for good entertainment."

Gordon turned around, "Mmhm, I knew there was a reason I liked you," and glided off.

"Besides my stunning good looks and overall amazingness, what can you hate?" the Skeleton Detective got up from the armchair and walked up the stares into Gordon's, now Valkyrie's, study. While searching for other, interesting books, he started to talk to himself out loud. "By just the sound of my voice, everything seems cheerier. There should be a book about me…" Skulduggery walked up to Valkyrie's desk and looked down.

There seemed to be a thick manuscript in the center of the desk. The first page was simply titled, _Skulduggery Pleasant_. "Attention grabbing enough," he said with approval. With his boney hands he picked up the thick stack of papers. Immediately he noticed her hand writing. Valkyrie had taken up writing. "Oooh, and it's about me…okay everybody in here, but mostly me of course. Alright, the book is in progress, now I need a theme song!"

Skulduggery set the papers down and started to skim titles again. A tune came to him so he started to hum, which led to whistling, and finally singing and adding his own words.

"Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

What a lovely personality;

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

What a lovely personality;

Always caring and so humble;

But also when trouble rumbles!

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

What a lovely personality!

He paused, thought about it, smiled and continued on singing. It was coming along perfectly he thought.

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

Much pleasure I'll bring to thee;

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

Much pleasure I'll bring to thee;

How every man wishes to be;

But can only adore me!

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

Much pleasure I'll bring to thee!

Lyrics easily came to him and he sang off tone occasionally. Now and then he'd stop and marvel and chuckle at how true the tune is.

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

Always shines so brightly!

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

Always shines so brightly!

From head to toe, you will envy;

My handsomeness and beauty;

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

Always shines so brightly!

At this point he wasn't singing for himself only. He had a small audience by the door, but the detective was oblivious to them.

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

How richly God has made me;

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

How richly God has made me;

Everybody else, don't stand a chance;

…

I'm so amazing I need not rhyme!

Skulduggery! Skulduggery!

How richly God has made me!"

Valkyrie was the first to burst into hysteric laughter. She had to hold onto a shaking Tanith to keep from falling. Gordon just stood there, smiling widely. But the laughter didn't even injure his ego. He smiled his permanent skeletal smile and bowed. "Shall I start over?" he asked.

The girls fell to the ground, now laughing soundlessly from the lack of oxygen. Yet it still didn't faze him as he looked over them. "Ah, you're just jealous you didn't think of it yourselves. I'll go on. Skulduggery! Skulduggery! What a lovely personality!"

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**Me Notes:** Short one-shot that I…we (not used to this) hoped you liked. Shocking enough, I don't think contained any Valduggery. Gasp! I love Valduggery if ya didn't know. Tell us what you think! (Btw: Eye of the Moon does have her own stories in case you're interested. Warning: it's mostly yaoi or a.k.a. male slash of _Naruto_.)


End file.
